It has dawned on me this morning after having a few decent night sleeps that I don't recall having any night sweats lately. Also, I am down 4 lbs without having exercised at all. I do know as I emerge it's going to be a challenge. The oven is broken but I take care of all the appliances and breakdowns at the duplex so I don't feel it's my job. I did not take a melatonin last night and fell to sleep rather quickly. I feel my face is less red but maybe that is just wishful thinking. I am reading a book that I'm finding rather depressing. Maybe it's more denial or whatever you call it but I do recognize I have a terminal disease. I also recognize that it's not something you can share with the outside world because there is a big stigma about it. Maybe when they first started learning about cancer and people thought they could catch it.
More importantly, it's time to find out who I am. What I enjoy. Now that my children are moving forward I have to rediscover me. I have not had any wants or desires. I guess thinking I didn't deserve them? Or, was it fear. Just trying to keep things always together. Women's roles are soo different and soo demanding. I'm having a dull pain/ache on my right side. I'm going to give it some time to resolve.
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