crazy but maybe true

So, I'm reading this book. It's not an excuse to go back and drink. But, what I'm realizing is maybe I'm not an alcoholic yet in the sense that she describes. But, I definitely have certain attributes and I am definitely suffering from alcoholism. Does that make sense? I never got to a point where I wasn't eating food or my children had to wake me up. Therefore, there are so many different degrees. What I know for sure is my early childhood, my developed coping mechanisms and degree of emotional immaturity have made me susceptible to seeking alcohol as a coping mechanism.  That's not any better or a good thing then saying I'm an alcoholic. Labels can be so misleading. I don't know if it's just my desire but I believe my psoriasis or whatever was going on with my scalp has improved. At least at the base of my skull where skin or whatever really seemed to be built up.  My ears are still a major issue. I'm trying to drink more water then ever.
There's also mention about "what's it all about" and a connection to empty nesting or children growing away emotionally.  She describes this as starting in recovery. But, this is how I've been feeling so maybe any mother would feel that way as her children grow up and away. Just a point to ponder. I think when I'm done reading this book I may delve into the underlying stuff of my young development. A lot of it I know. But, I do know I have co dependent issues or why would I have kept inviting and reaching out to siblings who did not return the affection just because they are siblings. They don't deserve my love time or attention. I guess I always found that hard to take and digest. Their negative opinion of me and comments that have existed my whole entire life do not have to be owned or given any attention at all. Why even hug a person like that. Truth be told their isn't any shared childhood or memories. They were gone. They only made fun of me my whole life regarding any choices I made.
This is where I need to focus the next part of self discovery. The alcohol abstinence is already a benefit to my health. I still feel a bit tired and off.